elkemay

i choose....

~love or fear~

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***

love or fear

it's your choice

but love is the strongest engine of survival...

***

 

i stumbled across this quote recently and it literally sent me flying to my journal to work out with bits of paper, glue, and pastels~ my version of reflection.

 

~it's your choice~

 

~love or fear~

 

this year has been huge for me in terms of battling some big fears and learning to trust.  i know that my brain chemistry~ for whatever reason~ can lead me to a dark and scary place.  however, i am learning to trust that the light always returns.  my biggest fear~ that i will not have a family of my own~ has haunted me for many years now.  this year, i looked deep into that fear and surrendered myself to a new version of family.  one without a partner.  setting aside the fear of not being strong enough, smart enough, capable enough or financially secure enough to be a single mother.  trusting in myself and my circle to be enough.

 

~i choose~

quick'n'dirty journal entry

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~i choose~

 

rituals can be simple yet profound way to focus on dreams & usher change into our lives. i often mourned the lack of ritual in this culture.  i didn't grow up with a religion~ and that seems to be where most rituals reside.  so i gradually started creating my own rituals.  For full moons.  For break-ups.  And then the lovely pixie campbell arrived on the scene to introduce me to a some beautiful native american rituals.

last night i went to an open house for my beloved massage therapist/healer.  she had created a wonderul ritual of letting go and receiving for the new year. here is my spin on it...

sit still and quiet for a few moments or more and reflect on the past year.  is there a fear that has kept you from reaching for the stars where your dreams reside? Or a belief or mindset that has held you back?  name it.  then write it down on a small slip of paper.

think about the coming year.  what is it you would like to invite into your life with open arms?  which dream is ready to be birthed?  what does your heart yearn for?  name it.  light a match as you hold this thought~ watch the flame errupt from a spark.  now light a candle with this match to shine light upon your desire.

finally, take the slip of paper and hold it to the flame.  let the flame ignite it and let it go.  let it go...

 
~i choose~

quick'n'dirty journal entry

left side

so as 2011 draws to an end~ i choose to let go of urgency.  to trust, that i will create my dream~ a family. 

~my future~

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~me~

 

trust...

~trust:  a word i am learning to embrace~

 

~trusting that the darkness too has lessons for me~

 

~trusting that the light always returns~

 

~trusting my instincts to forge ahead and take on the odds that seem stacked against me~

elk journey

mixed media collage on found book cover 120311

 

~trusting that my journey will lead me to my dream even if it seems i stray from the path i think i should be on~

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~trusting my need to slow down and retreat from the world in order to feed my body, mind and soul~

elk medicine

mixed media collage on found book cover 121111

 

~trusting my struggle~

 mixed media shadow box 2009

 

~trusting myself~

 

  

~trusting in the power, magic & beauty of sisterhood~

thank you Pixie Campbell for your vision, your lessons & your support.

thank you Maya Corrine for your sweetness, generosity, wise guidance & support.

thank you Stacy de la Rosa for my precious *trust* pendant.

in preparation for winter...

~on my journey~

 

~i arrive in the north~

 

~my arms are open~

 

~as hawk flies overhead~

 

~and a dose of divine intervention is welcomed~

 

~i settle into the cozy, slow-paced sweetness that is winter~

 

~recording~

 

~magical forest finds~

 

~and nature's gifts~

 

~during gentle walks~

 

~amid miniture jewels~

 

~i pause to collect gems~

 

 

~and watch the heavens burn~

 

~a time of discovering sacred pratices~

 

~making offerings~

with love, tears & memories

part of the oakland museum's annual Dias de los Muertos exhibit

my altar for Pa is on display there

 

~returning to the magic of my childhood~

 

~finding comfort in new rituals~

 

~preparing the ingredients: sage, lavender, rosemary, marygolds & prayers~

 

~for making prayer ties with my family before our Thanksgiving meal~

 

~at home my altar is aglow~

 

~crow's embrace~

mixed media piece

 

~my black ink squid protector~

 crafted in SouLodge

 

~wish you may~

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~setting my sights~

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 for those of you interested in learning about prayer ties~ meet pixie campbell