Captured: A Photo Journal

the little squirrel came back to visit me today.....

   
~122610:  still sick, i finally opened a present...from mama...earrings by caraucci with the most stunning green crysophase stones~

 

~a safe place to put your gatherings is in an untroubled heart & mind~

so sayeth the squirrel card....

 

~mine is open for business~

 

~healing: wonton soup~

 

~healing: jook~

 

~healing: i gave in to western medicine on day 5, though the peppermint essential oil works way better and doesn't make me feel like i'm on crack~

 

~a snowy owl, he watches over me~

 

~ornaments on my christmas "branch" oma, ma n me~

 

~father sky & mother earth balancing reading~

father: squirrel

mother: armadillo reversed

so i did this reading because i was stressing about what to do about matters of the heart.  and no, i usually do not resort to these methods to sort things out-- but lately, well, i've fallen into it.  the vision during the massage-- it kind of woke me up.  and my therapist is on vacation for 3 weeks! so, what's a girl to do!?  the irony of the father card being a squirrel is that when my pa (a full blooded scientist, no animal cards for him!) was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer he said he had an image of a squirrel gnawing away at his pancreas.  and for a year i hated squirrels.  it was as if they killed him. when one would run out in front of my car, i would pause before veering off to avoid running one over.  i could never kill one, but i thought about it.

 
~visual journal entry 090309~

anyways, i digress, here is what i learned:

from father squirrel

lighten your load of things that no longer serve you-- worries, stresses, pressures..

the safe place to put your gatherings is in an untroubled heart and mind and that which is gathered to place there is wisdom and caring. the energies gathered will set your mind and heart free, so that you will know that all will be taken care of in its time.  apply to your fears and they will vanish.

from mother armadillo--reversed

you may think the only way to win in this situation is to hide or pretend you are invincible, but this is not how you will grow.  better to open up and find the value and strength of your vulnerability.

the key is allowing armadillo to help you to stop hiding and to use armadillo's armor to deflect negative energy.  in this way you are able to accept or reject any feeling or action without having to hide from it.

fearing rejection will amplify your need for protection.  you have the power to rid yourself of these doubts and to touch the deepest part of beingness.  you will know when you are doing the right thing.  the only real rejection is in trying not to break out of the armor you use to protect yourself.

so after the reading i closed my eyes.  and i saw the squirrels we used to feed in our backyard. they would run up to the glass door while we ate breakfast and sit on the railing of the deck peering in .  pa would open the door and hand them walnuts, in his green paisley bathrobe.  i saw an armadillo curled into a tight ball and my belly ached.  i saw the wolves howling, encouraging me to continue on my path and to believe.  i pictured the vision again-- my left arm a white dove's wing and my right a raven's black wing.  the raven flew overhead, cawing.  i saw the snow covered forest bathed in white moonlight and the snowy owl calling in flight.  and the wolves again, howling at the moon.  and i saw guy i'm dating and i embracing.  and i smiled.  i thought of the squirrel:  all will be taken care of in its time, let go of your fears.  i thought of the armadillo:  find strength in your vulnerability.  i remembered my word for 2010-- be bold & fly.  it's not too late-- I still have 5 days left of the year!

~be bold & fly~

mixed media collage 2010

and now i read the background words on this collage:

smitten, sown, spoken, sting, strewn , strike,  swept, swell, swing, take, teach, tear, tell, win, wind, wring, & write

my method for collage is grab and go--- i don't attend much to what i pull for background.  but i will attend to this now!

***

the grinch-cold that tried to steal my christmas....

~122310:  fever~

 

~sparkle & glow~

 

~black magic lady slipper~

 

~122410:  kitchen table~

 

~the wolf & the manger~

 

~let there be peace~

 

~earth's treasures~

 

~one bored noodle and her dead baby~

 

~the best christmas present: a peppermint bath to clear my stuffy head~

 

~the sweetest and only true gift, made by a friend,  arrived in the mail~

 

~my love will be with you in heaven as it is with you on this earth:  unending~

collage for pa on his last father's day 2009

i miss you papa...

 

~snoozing noodle~

 

~looking out on christmas day~

 

~drained~

 

~beautiful gift from co-worker~

 

~my newest shrine:  next to computer~

***

witchy wondrous song from davie was another "gift" but i can't figure out how to plug it in here so you'll have to go check it out on yer own!

birds & bees

 

the messages are undeniable and everywhere: 122210

 

~a messenger~

If squirrel has scurried into your cards today, it may be that you are being told to honor your future by readying yourself for change.  The message could be to lighten your load if you have gathered too many "things" that do not serve you.  These "things" can include thoughts, worries, pressures, and stresses. 

Squirrel has another lesson which can aid you if you observe what is obvious, and which can prepare you for anything.  It has to do with a safe place in which to put your gatherings.  This safe place is an untroubled heart and mind, and that which is gathered to put in this place is wisdom and caring.  The energies gathered will set your mind and heart free, so that you will know that all will be taken care of in its own time.  Apply this to your fears about the future and they will vanish.

~medicine cards by Jamie Sams & David Carson~

 

~the message, in a nutshell~

 

~partially in the gutter today: a bit low but still not immune to beauty~

 

~lasting impressions~

 

~illusions of hope fading~

 

~missing the big picture~

 

~though my heart is waking~

 

~my visions~

 

~are at times bound~

 

~by inner demons~

 

~false warnings~

 

~alarm bells~

 

~that threaten my dreams~

 

~sharp and soft~

 

~prickly and smooth~

 

~in need of recalibration

 

~in these times~

 

~in an urban winter wonderland~

 

~things can appear harsh, and scary~

 

~what is keeping you from living the life you want?~

 

~learn where the inner meets the outer~

 

~there lies the beauty~

 

~life is limitless~

 

~don't keep them seperate~

 

~allow for alchemy~

 

~for spirit clouds to nourish you~

 

~and encourage new growth~

 

~i am overwhelmed by beauty everywhere~

 

~at times so much so that my mind gets cluttered~

 

~and yearns for stillness, tranquility~

 

~and sun kissed clouds on chilled air~

 

~my life, is now playing~

 

~the safety glass gone~

 

~bejeweled asphault beckons me and i won't resist~

 

***

 

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.

~rumi~

 

***

 

and late at night, when the fever has taken hold and my body is weary i reach for the medicine cards determined to do my first reading...

 

~one card overturns while i  shuffle the deck, i smile, of course, it's me, trust yourself~

 

~the moon lodge spread:  inward tree for centering~

it told me:

look for teachings no matter where you are

wolf would not come to you unless you requested the appearance of the tribe's greatest leader

you are being asked to open new doors to opportunity and to stay awake

scan more than the surface, integrating all possibilities, potential risks, unexpected outcomes and ultimate rewards

recognize the inner wisdom in your self, look inside yourself for the answers

take a break, you are feeling waterlogged, too may emotions and feelings

negativity is drawn to you when you refuse to give yourself time and space to assume a new viewpoint

a fear of being rejected:  drop the seriousness on all levels and play at life so that the fear rolls off your back

 

~after the reading, all is calm~

 

post-eclipse.....winter solstice

~The last total lunar eclipse on the winter solstice was in 1638, and the next will be in  2485~

The dreams you had, and the creative mind you had as a child possibly long lost may be nudging you to pay more attention.  Follow your creative idea‘s, explore them and they will bring you a greater sense of fulfillment you are needing. Don’t get out of touch with reality by going into dreamland and forgetting the necessities of the real world, but do step into it for a bit and watch your attitudes change about what you really want for 2011.

If you’ve felt lost, you’ll find yourself by tapping into your imagination.  Try anything creative and see yourself in a new light. Look into your history, back to your childhood for clues.

The winter solstice marks the point where we descend to the depths of darkness (much like Pluto) and emerge renewed with the light getting stronger. A symbol of a new birth, and the promise of the light of hope. The lights twinkling on tree’s and houses are a symbol for our love of light and the beauty of life it bestows.

~excerpts from Symbolic Living~

 

~post-eclipse drive~

 

~seen while i was walking, while you were walking there~

 

 

~our lives are custom built~

 

~the remains of fall~

 

~tool~

 

Your revolutionary streak has mellowed out. You are becoming more grounded, but that doesn’t mean you are incapable of drastic measures. Except that this situation doesn’t call for it. Right now you are being asked to trust. The change you seek is on its way.

~my horoscope today from Nadiya Shah~

 

 

~calling~

 

~smiling~

 

~giggling~

 

~making a silly face~

 

~sadie pretends not to watch my photo shoot, but i catch her~

 

We are like the spider. We weave our life and then move along in it.
We are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives in the dream.
This is true for the entire universe.
~Aitareya Upanishad

total lumar eclipse: a time to deeply let go and sweep out whatever is no longer needed inside

full moon in gemini ceremony:  sacred trinity

light a candle.

write down the top three things, perceptions thoughts, concepts, false beliefs that do not serve you.

write down the top three situations or relationships that you are ready to let go of.

write down three behaviors or habits you know you need to change.

now with the help of your soul, the universe, and yourself- all three energies the "sacred trinity" combined as one, concentrate, and in prayer ask for help in letting go.

you may take the piece of paper you have written the things down on and burn it, turn it to ash, and send it into the universe.

 

 

 

 

 

over the next few days, begin to take action in implementing the change in a loving and empowered way, knowing you are supported by your soul, and the universe.

 

 

121910: the love story continues... as does the beauty

~i see beauty~

 

~can i come in?~

 

~weathered~

 

~imperfectly perfect~

 

~let me in~

 

~sadie likes you too~

 

~beauty in the cracks~

 

~cascading over bricks~

 

~breathtaking~

 

~every girl's dream~

 

~tempting~

 

~flooding~

 

~dreamy~

 

~discovering my spirit guides~

visual journal entry

121910

 

~self-portrait~

 

~buckwheat noodles with butterfish, carrots, arugula and shiso~

 

~hitchcock-esque~

 

~driving~

 

~to the city~

 

~vigin of guadalupe~

 

~moon baby waves hello~

 

~d'n'r at mission chinese~

 

~d'n'd at mission chinese~

 

~mission moon~

121810: yoga, baking cookies with ma and a christmas concert in a cathedral

~watching over~

 

~shelter~

 

~in winter~

 

~ganesh~

 

~it's never as easy as~

 

~in ma's yard~

 

~lake merrit~

 

~in the manger~

 

~light~

 

~dark~

of doves and ravens~ serenity and magic

the story behind these photos, including the magic i experienced today can be found here:

Captured: a photo journal

 

~chai after pilates~

 

~veggie mo-mo's at a taste of the himalaya's~

 

~ganesh~

 

~solano board walk~

 

~a present for a healer~

 

~trying to find my way to a grounded place in the midst of a spin out~

 

Shawn Jason Alexander

 

~unlocking the doors to those places~

 

~the raven~

 

~the undercurrent of presence.  the silent field underneath the words~

Eckhart Tolle

quick n dirty journal spread using images from Papaya

 

 

a winter's love story

~hearts in winter~

 

~holding back~

 

~lucky~

 

~blue moments~

 

~spooked~

 

~burning desire~

 

~open~

 

~seemingly perfect~

 

~steamy~

 

~yin and yang~

 

 

 

 

on a gray and rainy day...

~love in the mist:  in winter~

 

~falling~

 

~cracks~

 

~fallen~

 

~lucky~

 

~snow globe~

 

~of paper~

 

~wonderland~

 

~swoon~

 

~lectric~