122810: a roadtrip...from my bed...

~off the track~

graciously shared by Nathan LaBudde

my friend is on a road trip. he has been sending me countless pictures for which i am so thankful, especially yesterday, 122810. i hit rock bottom with this flu. i thought i was getting better and then BAM the fever returned and i was in bed all day, so much worse than the day before.

i couldn't even get out of bed to use the computer. huddled up under the blankets i caught glimpses of beautiful sunbathed structures, trains, and sky-scapes-- all on my iPhone via my friend. thank you friend. you are dear. to me.

"e is for.........me!!!"

another gem shared by Nathan La Budde, though i tweeked it abit... hope that's ok...

and as he sent the pictures i started to remember fragments of my dream from the night before. i frantically texted bits and pieces -- i hadn't the strength to get a pen or paper so i outlined it in text format. he was so patient. thank you friend.

he told me he saw a black panther in his dream.

i, of course, looked up the black panther's message. my name is elke may. but those who know me might tend to call me miss elke may, or miss need-to-know. i really do, need to know. and yes, my dear friend nathan coined that-- miss need-to-know. ah, he knows me too well.

~black panther~

i grew sleepy. the texts continued to flood in, photos of skies changing, from day to night. i tried to sleep. i needed to sleep. i would drift off and my thoughts would get jumbled and cryptic as they do as one enters the realm of sleep. each time i drifted i would wake myself up, so curious. so eager to crack the code. what was the message? from my unconscious? what was it? i have to see it..... i need to know!!!

sitting cross legged on the floor, it was jesus. or it looked like jesus. he was holding the hands of two women. one was me. "how are you?" he asked. I answered, "good, mostly. balanced. at peace."

and i woke from partial slumber. "yes," i thought, "that is accurate". and then drifted again.

i heard the words,"as above so below, as below, so above" in my head. repeating chant-like. the conscious and unconscious. the blurring of two worlds. sleep and wakefulness. known and unknown. sometimes i can't keep them separate anymore. they envelope me. should i be scared? or content to let them flow, through me, exist in me.

and i woke from partial slumber. and then drifted again.

i saw creatures. "oh yay!" i thought to myself, "let me see you, so i can look you up in my animal medicine book!" I tried to identify them-- but they would morph from one to the next so quickly. "let me see you!!! come back!!!" I begged. "I shouldn't try so hard," I laughed to myself, "don't try so hard." it's a mouse-- no a pig--- no a mixture of a mouse and pig. a pouse or mig! i giggled. like me. small energy of a mouse and loud snortling and snot filled.

and i woke from partial slumber, unable to sleep. unable to turn off. unable to remove the antlers, aka antennas, bound to my head...

~close up: these antlers have become antennas"

from quick n dirty journal 122710

~go to sleep little earth~

and kate bush sang to me as the storm passed by:

Hello, earth.
Hello, earth.
With just one hand held up high
I can blot you out,
Out of sight.

Peek-a-boo,
Peek-a-boo, little earth.
With just my heart and my mind
I can be driving,
Driving home,
And you asleep
On the seat.

I get out of my car,
Step into the night
And look up at the sky.
And there's something bright,
Travelling fast.
Look at it go!
Look at it go!

Watching storms
Start to form
Over america.
Can't do anything.
Just watch them swing
With the wind
Out to sea.

All you sailors,
("get out of the waves! get out of the water!")
All life-savers,
("get out of the waves! get out of the water!")
All you cruisers,
("get out of the waves! get out of the water!")
All you fishermen,
Head for home.

Go to sleep, little earth.
I was there at the birth,
Out of the cloudburst,
The head of the tempest.
Murderer!
Murder of calm.
Why did I go?
Why did I go?

"tiefer, tiefer.
Irgendwo in der tiefe
Gibt es ein licht."

Go to sleep little earth.